Jeremy G. Pippin

This is what I love about shipping / post companies. If you mail an item, you pay a price. That I get. But, if you want their guarantee that they won’t lose it or just, y’know, break it, you have to pay extra. ‘Cause otherwise they might, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Dear Pip – what was the worst movie ever? The worst movie ever written, produced, and unleashed upon unsuspecting audiences was Dude, Where’s My Car?. Forget Plan 9. Forget Dead Alive. These movies were, admittedly, horrific, but neither captured the almost malevolent shittiness of Dude, Where’s My Car?. And Dude had no excuse. It had [...]

Dear Pip: How does one move through a dance club while avoiding the risk of engaging in physical combat? The proper way involves a technique known in the industry as the “suspended hand-chop.” The walking-through-nightclubs industry, that is. The suspended hand chop involves holding one’s forearm parallel to the torso, with your hand directly in [...]

I have been fed by Mike, who has commissioned this poem, written in his honor. Mike requests poem Pays eighty cents on PayPal Gets this bad haiku Thanks, Mike. Now… I’m still taking commissions. Yes, they’re all this bad. But the more you donate, the longer I’ll drag out my poetical crap!

This poem has been commissioned by myndphux in honor (?) of is his ex, Laurie, with whom he obviously still has issues. I’ve done this weird thing where I wrote two poems that are to be read seperately and then intertwined. Meh; I was bored, and it sounded good in my head.

So, I’m moving to New York, land of hotdog vendors, sidewalk hippies, Wall Street sharks, and enough starving artists to fill Rhode Island. Now, since I switched blogs, nobody reads this one, but I’ll still shout out for commentary from the imaginary hordes of New York readers out there to send me some comments giving [...]

“Unexpectedly?” To whom? Microsoft Entourage quits “unexpectedly” ten to twelve times a day. It quits when you start emails. It quits when you read them. It quits when the fax machine down the hall beeps too loudly. I’d have to be mentally deficient not to expect it.

I’m hearing your song On the line Keep getting it on 101.9 I turn the dial My surprise That crap is also blaring out of 98.5.

More aptly titled… how to rely on your girlfriend’s sense of humor when creating a blog post.