Jeremy G. Pippin

Found this post in an old blog while conducting an internet enema, and it filled me with nostalgia for the days before smartphones. Thought I’d re-post it. Last week, I found myself shivering with cold sweats. It had been ages since I had spent a ridiculous amount of money on a marginally useful gadget. So, [...]

Dear Creepy Street-Corner Mime, I just want a word to explain to you why I reacted the way I did when you playfully “discovered” an invisible wall in front of me on the street the other day. I admit that kicking you in the testicles and running away screaming like a girl was an indecorous [...]

I know that you do not know your own names; in fact, you may know yourselves better as “Holy Shit” and “You Little Bastard,” respectively. Chloe & Toby are the names I gave you upon adoption, however – the ones you cheerfully ignore on a daily basis. There are a few matters that I would [...]

Enough is enough. That freakin’ rabbit has been trying to get some Trix for 40 years now.  Isn’t it time to quit being a prick about it? “Trix are for kids?” Seriously.  It’s a $3 box of crappy, unreasonably-colored sugar balls with little to no nutritional value.  A cartoon rabbit is about the only thing [...]

Is 4th grade level grammar and spelling too much to ask? Really? Love, Pip P.S. I will hire a hacker to break into the iTunes account database and find the personal address of the next fucker who posts a review saying “should i wach this show? click YES if u think i should ”. Then [...]

Why.  Why.  Why.  Why? Wh- but why?  Why would you… why?  Why.  Why.  WHY. You’re a semi-moderate… why?  Why.  Why?  I don’t underst… why?  What were you going for, the neo-conservative vote?  Who else were they going to vote for, Obama?  They’re neo-cons – as a rule, they don’t like black people, much less liberal, [...]

If you don’t get the irony, God help you.

1996 called.  They want their site design back.

Dear person with “hottie”, “babe”, or “sexy” in your email, aim, or forum username, I totally love your username. I wanted, however, just to let you in on a little-known word that might help you out in the long run: humble /ˈhÊŒmbÉ™l, ˈʌm-/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[huhm-buhl]: adjective, not proud or arrogant; modest: [...]