Jeremy G. Pippin

If you’re a creator of scripted content in Second Life, you’ve probably noticed the lack of persistent data storage available for LSL. Storing long-term data is nearly impossible without using an off-world database, but off-world database storage requires knowledge of PHP.

Found this post in an old blog while conducting an internet enema, and it filled me with nostalgia for the days before smartphones. Thought I’d re-post it. Last week, I found myself shivering with cold sweats. It had been ages since I had spent a ridiculous amount of money on a marginally useful gadget. So, [...]

I know that you do not know your own names; in fact, you may know yourselves better as “Holy Shit” and “You Little Bastard,” respectively. Chloe & Toby are the names I gave you upon adoption, however – the ones you cheerfully ignore on a daily basis. There are a few matters that I would [...]

Because full-screen internet porno takes a lot of memory.

Ah, that time of year has come at last. Every year, around this time, exciting red and blue and green packages appear on the shelves at my local Albertson’s. And every year, around this time, I buy one of those shiny foil-covered boxes, remove one of the contents, and eagerly eat it. And every year, [...]

Dear Pretentious Grad Student, Hi! I’m the guy who sits behind you in class. You know that odd crunching noise you hear every time you speak? Yeah, that’s me griding my teeth.

Dear Emily, I know it’s been some years since I’ve spoken to you, and you probably assumed I’d gotten past it by now, but I need some closure. I couldn’t tell you this before because I was too close to it; I needed time and space to gather myself and recover enough to say this [...]

I hate how dry it gets this time of year. I had to get up to turn the humidifier on the other night just to get a little sleep. When it gets this arid, and sinuses dry up, a funny thing happens. My girlfriend begins to make this horrible noise in her sleep. It’s so [...]

Dear Guy In Front of Me At The Drive-Thru, You know when they say “Order when you’re ready?” I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but they don’t really mean it. It’s code for “Start talking, asswipe.” Maybe if they could say that out loud, the job would be worth the [...]

I pulled up to a stoplight today, and was surprised (as anyone would be) to find my bowels loosening. On further inspection, I found that my teeth were chattering as well, and my brainwaves were being forced into a subtle rhythm that made me slightly nauseated. Heeeeey-Ya. It was the Escalade (surprise!) stopped next to [...]