Not anymore.

I’ve whipped up a little freebie web app called SL»DB that makes it dead simple for you to set up your own web database and send/retrieve data from within Second Life objects with no knowledge of PHP or MySQL.

All you need is a PHP/MySQL-equipped shared web hosting account (such as one you’d set up to run a WordPress blog or phpBB forum). After a simple, 5-minute setup, you’ll have your own permanent data storage solution that you can easily use any time you’d like with a couple of pre-made custom functions in LSL.

DOWNLOAD SL»DB

With a strange combination of GeSHi, CSS, and WordPress plugins, I finally managed to get an LSL code pasting solution I’m happy with:

UPDATE: Got the colors tweaked right down to the background color; should be exactly the same as the in-world LSL editor (thank you, Apple Digital Color Meter).

Also, updated the GeSHi lsl.php file so that clicking the various functions and what-nots lead you directly to the right entry on http://wiki.secondlife.com.

My big concern now is that the colors/fonts are so close it looks like a screenshot; hope people realize it’s not (and that they can cut and paste).

For the record, I’d define the theme of our future (and to a large extent, our current) products as “prototype chic.”  We’re not going for sci-fi (like we did with the Black Widows), with lasers and what-not.  Rather, we want to make products that look like they could exist currently, in some DoD laboratory somewhere, but aren’t currently in use.

So, for our customers who wonder about this, let me give you my reasons why:

1. Freedom – The number one reason we don’t make replica weapons is freedom.  A Beretta 9mm operates in a very specific way; if you want to make a realistic duplicate of it, that duplicate has to behave that way as well.  That’s great, if you’re an enthusiast for modern weaponry.  But if you’re like me, and you want to make some pretty weird shit from time to time, replica weapons are too limiting.  Show me a Beretta 9mm that can fire toxic gas rounds or auto-correct your aim with intelligent targeting.  When we create products, we always reach the point in the conversation where somebody says something like this: “But how can a gun hold 235 bullets?”  Our theme enables me to respond “Who cares?  Maybe it uses some kind of micro-bullet?”
2. Theme versatility – A replica weapon locks you into a particular time period for theme/environment, which means those weapons only look right on an avatar designed with that time period in mind.  Our “prototype chic” theme, on the other hand, fits in with themes ranging from modern to sci-fi, which makes them appropriate in a wider range of settings.
3. Niche market – There are plenty of designers out there making replica weapons.  Why compete?  Better to sit in a market of our own devising, so we can focus on making the products we want, rather than worrying about what’s already been done.  If we were to make a Uzi smg, we’d have to examine the market of Uzi smgs and determine who’s done what and charged what for it.  On the other hand, nobody’s making a VX-7, because damnit, we made it up.  All we need to do is focus on making the best damned VX-7 the world has never seen.
4. Imperfections – Real life weapons have all kinds of quirks: spent shell casings, peculiar muzzle flashes, chamber movement, etc.  If we were to copy all of these quirks precisely, we’d have the laggiest weapon in existence (I’ve seen some replicas that will remain nameless in excess of 0.7 ms script time when dormant). So any replica is going to have to choose between performance and realism.  Better, in my mind, to create a perfect VX-7 (which thematically uses a propulsion system instead of casings) than an imperfect Colt 1911.
5. Load time – The VX-7s have only a few sculpties, and only a handful of well-placed textures (thank Vincent Nacon for that), which makes them easier on loading times (and on overall sim performance) than items with dozens of sculpties and textures.  We’re able to do this because we can design the guns from the ground up, without having to conform to a pre-established real life design.
6. It’s MY Second Life, damnit – And here we get to the meat of it.  I create what I want, and what I want is cool shit that doesn’t exist (yet).

So there you have it: we don’t intend to start doing replicas anytime soon.  If you want replicas, try Black Ops; they make some good ones, from what I’ve heard, with some fairly reasonable lag profiles.  There are other major brands on the market, of course, but some of them are incredibly laggy, so investigate a bit before you buy for the sake of those around you, please.

Funny, because I’ve had no contact with anybody outside my friends list for the last several days, and most of those conversations were chatting about, y’know, my cat. Or scripting questions. I’ve certainly not represented myself as a Linden in any way, shape, or form.

Upon contacting Help, I was given the usual “The Governance Team takes these matters seriously and weighs them using various…” blah blah blah. Only, if they really took this seriously, and came to the very seriously wrong conclusion… well, I’d say their policies and techniques could use some very serious review.

And they should probably start by reviewing the fact that I was never contacted in any way and asked about the infraction. If I had been, I imagine the matter would have been pretty easy to clear up, seeing as I didn’t do it.

If you’re going to issue a warning, fine, but suspension or banning without so much as providing the accused with an opportunity to speak in their defense…

I’m not asking for a Bill of Rights here, just some semblance of respect.

I can take a guess at what happened.  Somebody used Secret MSGR to impersonate a Linden.  Of course, the if I get in, the Secret MSGR servers will need to be updated to block any outgoing messages that attempt to use “*** Linden: ” as the sender.  It’s something I would have happily done in just a matter of minutes had I been sent an IM prior to being suspended, but alas, expecting LL to behave in a way that is beneficial to its residents, and not to its own convenience, is apparently too much.

Here’s the thing: You can’t encourage residents to build businesses in Second Life and then be cavalier with their livelihoods.

Update: As a result of this particular incident, Secret MSGR servers will no longer transmit messages that use the word “linden” in the sender identity.

I titled my blog “That Griefer Guy” as a joke, because I’m often known as just that, as if my only purpose as a Second Life creator has been to create chaos and disruption in sandboxes all over the grid.  The reality, however, is that I’ve never griefed anybody.  Ever.

Well, that’s not entirely true.  Once, when I was a n00b, I inadvertently set off a Hand of God (anybody remember that thing?) in a sandbox and sent 10+ people flying into orbit.  Don’t worry, they all recovered, though I was banned from that sandbox for a couple of days.  Might still be; I dunno.

I don’t eat babies, I don’t kick old people, and I don’t grief; in fact, I’m kind to children, small animals, and (most) n00bs.

It should be kept in mind that I came into Second Life in 2005, and things were very different in 2005.  Most combat was done in Rausch, and most people went there to one-up each other with whatever latest whatnot they gleaned from SLExchange or by popping around one or two shops in world.  It was an environment in which those of us in the weapons trade had a kind of hacker mentality: we wanted to push the limits just to see if we could, and it was in that spirit that we created increasingly powerful push mechanisms and tried to see if we couldn’t thwart shields with various attempts at attacks.

At the time, my father had cancer, and I was his sole caregiver, so I was understandably broke (his insurance company sucked beyond words, and he was unable to work).  I started selling my creations just for a little extra money so I could justify the time I spent on SL.  It surprised me as much as anybody when people started buying my stuff, and I was able, on a temporary basis, to support myself with the work I did in SL.

I still have that hacker mentality.  Any time I create a product, the goal behind that product is to do something new, something that pushes the envelope a bit in terms of capability,  power, whatever.  I want to see just how powerful I can make my weapons, just how interesting I can make my HUDs, etc. etc.

And then of course, there were market pressures.  Once I began supporting myself in SL, I became partly responsible to the market.  After all, I can’t pay my rent if nobody buys my goods, so I try on occasion to make what my market demands, if only so that I can feed my cat (Toby eats a lot) and occasionally myself.

I’m not rich – I live in a crappy one-bedroom apartment in Queens, NY populated with mostly Ikea furniture that is quickly passing its expiration date (trust me – plywood and canvas does have a shelf life).  I have an aging computer that’s still kind of pissed at me for enabling glow and shine.  I struggle to pay my bills and NYC’s $145 parking tickets just like anybody else, and having a low sales day stresses me out more than most receptionists or bookkeepers experience on a daily basis (I know, cuz I’ve done both jobs).

Here’s the thing – I trust my customers to make their own decisions. Sometimes that trust is misplaced; sometimes customers use a product to grief, to spam, or to generally be annoying.  But for the most part, that’s their decision, and Second Life as an environment provides its citizens with plenty of tools (such as push- and damage-restricted parcels, mute functions, etc.) to police those usages on their own terms.  I suppose I could limit the functionality of my products to only that which could never be used for annoyances, but that doesn’t seem consistent with the philosophy of an open-development virtual world.

So if somebody griefs you with a tool designed to combat griefers, or spams you with a HUD designed to encourage flirtation, or cheats in your roleplay game with a shield designed to thwart attack, I ask that you please try to remember that it’s the person, and not myself, that is making those decisions.  I understand this sounds uncomfortably like the NRA (“HUDs don’t grief people; people grief people.”) but there’s a significant contextual difference here that I like to think most avatars are smart enough to keep in mind.

My particular collection of “works” can be found here.

Seriously, it’s a shitload of fun.  Good, clean, anonymous fun that doesn’t end up with anybody getting launched into outer space.  It’s the only HUD I wear all the time. Usually, I slap on the identity “Second Life” and send goofball messages out to my sim.  Occasionally, I use it to torture my already beleaguered business manager, aubreTEC Commerce.  And on very rare occasions, I giggle furiously and send little messages to my competitors.  On these occasions, I’ve usually returned from a bar, where I’ve had a drink or two.

Or seven.

Or eight.

Of all the products I’ve ever produced, it’s also the most under-appreciated.  People are accustomed to my products having some kind of nefarious purpose, so most of the people who look at the product usually think the purpose is to fraudulently imitate other avatars, and are disappointed to find out that it’s not really intended to facilitate this ban-worthy offense of the Second Life TOS.  I get messages like “how cum the text is green?  nobody will believe its them if its green.”

To those people, I’d ask that you take a moment’s break from trying to get yourself banned and consider the purpose the Secret MSGR was really designed for:  entertainment.  Once you think of it in that capacity, you’ll see that with a little creativity, it can provide hours of fun for the equivalent of what, the price of a McDonald’s cheeseburger?  And it’s much, much lower in saturated fat as well.

Plus, I need rent money.  So go buy one, damnit.

Gasp.

The thing is, in New York, if you say “I don’t like New York,” your statement is immediately met with a “well, that’s just ‘cuz you can’t hack it here” attitude.  Thing is, I can hack it here fine.  Not liking New York is not a character flaw.

Here’s the thing about New Yorkers:  They’re dicks.  Not individually, but on the whole, as a group, they’re self-absorbed dicks.  Selfish isn’t the right word; selfish implies an awareness that isn’t there.

A trucker in midtown Manhattan leans on his horn when somebody in front doesn’t cram on the gas fast enough as the light changes.  He does this because the 20 or so pedestrians 4 feet away at the crosswalk with their hands to their ears and pained expressions on their faces doesn’t register in his consciousness.  His world doesn’t extend beyond the realm of his own self-interest.  And this apathy to others is viral; live here long enough and you’ll do it too.

And the worst part is, they’re proud of it. They congratulate themselves on it.  As if being a self-centered twat is a good thing.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody said something like this: “Just push them out of your way.  That’s what I do, ‘cuz I’m a New Yorker.” I might have enough money to pay my obsenely overpriced electric bill.  It’s considered a badge of honor in New York to be rude and arrogant to those around you, as if being so makes you tough.  Well, rude is not tough.  Tough is being able to take what comes your way without complaint, and it doesn’t denote being a prick.  Being a prick is just being a prick.

These are screenshots taken either by me or by others and sent to me.

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REAL LIFE

These are just some personal photos I’ve taken. As you can see, I have an unnatural affinity for high-contrast black and white.

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