Tag! You’re it!
I have, apparently, been tagged by Ali over at Cafe Eclectic. I’m either supposed to answer a bunch of questions or run away screaming, limbs akimbo. I can’t remember which.
But, since I’m an adult now and it’s been at least three weeks since I’ve run anywhere screaming, I’m going to answer five of these questions and hope for the best.
If I could be a scientist…
I would painstakingly research the health advantages of poking things with sticks.
If I could be a musician…
I’d perform a song entitled “I Can’t Believe People Pay to Listen to this Abstract Noise.” Then I’d perform it with System of a Down.
If I could be married to any current famous political figure…
I’d marry Dick Cheney. Oh, come on. The guy’s got more money than God, and a loud belch might send him into cardiac arrest. You telling me you wouldn’t marry him?
If I could be a chef…
I’d be the Microwave Chef, and I’d have my own show on the Food Network, extolling the virtues of nuked cuisine. “Today we’ll be making Strogonoff á la Dinty Moore, with just a dash of oregano, or whatever this is in this dusty spice jar I found in the back of the cupboard.”
If I could be a doctor…
I’d be a surgeon. And I’d invent a breath mint that smelled like cheap burbon, and take one before each pre-op consultation with a patient. Oh, yeah, and I’d change my name to Jeremy Payne. “Dr. Payne will see you now.” Yeah, that’d be sweet.
Here’s the rest of the questions:
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an inn-keeper…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a llama rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be an astronaut…
If I could be a world famous blogger…
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world…
If I could be a dog trainer…
Wait, am I supposed to tag somebody now? Then I tag Mr. Rainey, my eighth grade woodshop teacher who used to eat glue because he thought it would make kids think he was cool. I sorta doubt he has a blog now, though. In fact, after seeing him with a jigsaw, I sorta doubt he still has fingers to type with.
